It's Official....I'm an Empty Nester.....

It’s been a week….

A week ago I left Tyler at La Roche. That final hug was a lot more difficult than I had expected.  My only child is now living among people I do not know, in an unfamiliar environment.  The freshman class has students from 15 countries, not including the United States.  I feel the anxiety daily and feel helpless as a parent.

I’m not going to lie…so far this empty nest stuff sucks!  My house is too quiet.  My house is too clean.  The laundry basket is too empty.  My grocery list is too short.  I laugh and smile too little and spend way too much time talking to my kitten. 

People say, enjoy it…..relax….do things you've always wanted to do…. Blah, blah, blah. I was doing what I wanted to do.  I enjoyed being busy.  I didn't want to relax.  I enjoyed the craziness of our evenings.  It kept me engaged and more importantly, it kept my brain occupied.  I miss it and it’s only been a week.  

Today at work as I was going through the Acceptable Use Policy forms that the middle school students turn in, I was reminded that I no longer have to do that for Tyler. 

And that actually made me smile!

I do not miss filling out the same forms every fall for school with the same information every….single….year…..by hand.  Duplicate sometimes. We live in a world of technology where toddlers can take selfies on an iphone and a cat can play a game on an ipad!   But we still need to fill out school forms by hand.  Every…Single…Year…..

Are there other things I won’t miss now that Tyler is in college?

Living with a moody teenager: I would cringe having friends or family around when Tyler was in one of his moods.  One minute he was a brat, the next minute he was amazingly nice; then he didn't talk; the next you couldn't shut him up. I never knew what to expect from one day or one minute to the next.

Shoes, shoes and more shoes:  I have one child with two feet.  This means he can wear only two shoes at one time.  My entry way constantly looked as though I had three or more children. 

The "know it all" attitude: I went from an authority, a valuable source of information to knowing nothing and I was totally incompetent as it relates to most subjects. On the other hand, he knew it all and had all the answers.

HOMEWORK.  'Nuff said......

Open Drawers:  I’m not sure why this was a difficult one for my son.  After all, he closed it MOST of the way.  Why not give it a smidge more and close it all the way? 

Water Bottles:  Empty…full…half-full….half-empty.  I’d find them everywhere. They were from him....they were from his friends....maybe ghosts were partying at night while we slept....who knows!

College Process:  College applications, essays, application fees. The common app, submit buttons, extra-curriculars, teacher recommendations, PSATS, SATS, ACTS, financial aid, deadlines, safety schools, reach schools, match schools.

NO TP:  Tyler was the master of having just enough TP for him and always left the empty roll for me to take care of.

Can I get that in a gallon size?:  The boy loved his ketchup!  I can now downsize the size ketchup bottle I buy and how often I need to buy it.

Got food?:  Every day I received a text saying, “what we eating”.  That’s how it was worded….what we eating.  And if I didn't get back to him right away I received a second text with a “?”. 

Tyler will be home tomorrow, along with his dirty laundry.  I will have a few days of scattered shoes, half-open drawers, water bottles lying around and lots of laughter and smiles!  For those few days my grown up son will be my little boy again. 

On Monday I will feel that mixture of Momma pride-anxiety-sadness-happiness all over again….and once again letting go after that final hug won’t be easy. I've heard it get easier.....

After he leaves I’ll pick up the empty water bottles and throw them away and I’ll push his dresser drawers closed and I’ll remind myself that this is how it is supposed to be. This is my life for at least the next four years. Then I will sit with Cali and tell her my thoughts about the weekend while waiting for the text saying he’s in his dorm room.

It’s hard to resist the urge to smother. I’m trying to find a balance of the right amount of texts and calls so he knows I’m thinking of him, without seeming like a helicopter parent. I know he will brush his teeth and change his underwear and probably even change the empty roll of TP at some point.

But that is for him to figure out.  I mean, I hope he will be able to change an empty roll of TP by the time he graduates…..right?