Bring an Extra Sheet for Toga Parties and other Survival Tips

When Tyler and I were shopping at Bed, Bath and Beyond for some dorm essentials, I couldn't help but feel a little nostalgic….and jealous!  The items they have for these kids nowadays rock!  They had cute stackable shelving whereas I had to uhhh….umm….steal, I mean, borrow forever, actual milk crates from McDonalds to stack for “cute” organizers.  They had nice bathroom essential organizers for trips to the shower or nightly visits to brush and wash.  I used a little plastic bucket.  They now make a bug mattress protector which should be placed first on the mattress because anything from the previous users stays inside.  Uhhhh, Yuck!

As we were walking through the store and I was throwing things in the cart randomly, Tyler was taking them out.

 “I don’t need that”….

”Why do I want that?”…..

”I don’t need that, Mommmmm”……

It made me wonder if all boys are like this or just mine. When I was texting this to a friend, she made a very valid point, this next chapter in his life is equally as hard for him as it is for me.  That’s exactly it.  Tyler deals by not dealing.  The mere thought of him going shopping for college stuff put him in a bad mood especially since it was a Saturday evening and it meant…gasp!....time away from his friends!

Freshman year is a big step for a lot of youngins; it can be the first step towards independence. Freshman year means moving away from home, living on your own and truly experiencing a world where you are the only one responsible for both your choices and mistakes. It’s a year of laughter, fun, drinks and screw-ups. It’s a year that is impossible to emerge from without learning a thing or two.  And to some, it’s scary. 

Because I've “been there” and “done that”, I decided to make a list of Survival Tips I thought would be helpful for Tyler. 

High School Friends - You know, the ones that you have to see every minute of the day because you are all leaving and will miss each other tremendously….yeah, them.  Come next summer, you will be like, “I’m ready to go back to school because it’s boring around here”…. I hate to sound like Debbie-Downer but just because you have twitter and texting available at your fingertips doesn't mean you are going to maintain all of your high school friendships with ease.  Because staying in touch with friends is hard, you’ll unsurprisingly drop some high school friends who just don’t “make the cut” — it’s hard enough staying in touch with your BEST friends as it is! And guess what? It’s totally FINE. The world isn't going to end. While it IS essential to hold on to your strongest friendships — after all, they’re what make life worth living — shedding some dead weight can be a good thing. 

Try out new friends -  Some will stick, some won’t. You will eat lunch with someone every day the first week of college and then realize that your friend chemistry just isn't there. You will always say hi to each other for the next 4 years and maintain a healthy Twitter friendship. It’s a mutual understanding that when you say “Happy Birthday!” you really mean “Thanks for being my only friend during Welcome Week “.  You CAN and WILL make new friends at college. It’s exciting and also a reminder that life goes on. With college friendships, quality is more important than quantity. You won’t be everyone’s best friend, but those you do have can become your lifelong friends. Put yourself out there. Join a team or a club, meet people and chat in class.

Wear one item of clothing over and over again - This will make your life real easy; when you have so many other decisions to make sometimes you have to give yourself a free pass in other areas of life. If anyone asks, you’re developing a “signature” style.  With that being said, I’m not saying don’t wash it between wearings. 

Continue to let me bring shampoo and toothpaste in bulk when I visit - Sure you have the campus store and your car to get to Walmart but let me feel useful and needed.  All I’m asking for is a hug and a “thank you”.

Call me on the verge of tears because you are so homesick – I won’t judge, I promise! I know that when I say “hello” and you don’t answer, that you are probably ready to break into a hiccupping-heaving-hysterical wreck. “Hello? Tyler?? Tyler?” Eventually I’ll catch on and get used to this and if you have too much pride to admit to being homesick just fib and give the old “Verizon sucks! They always drop my calls!” excuse. *I just gifted you with a valuable life lesson- a fib for all seasons and reasons.

Parents Are The Best - Of course, right when you move away, there is nothing better than being on your own with no rules, no nagging and no curfews. After a while, though, the novelty wears off. Along with your new found independence, you’ll have crappy dorm food, laundry and cleaning. You’ll be wondering just how mom and dad kept it all together without having a mental breakdown.

Freshman 15 Is REAL - Everyone jokes about the freshman 15 but it’s real. It’s easy to vow to hit the gym every day before class and on the weekends, but once you get there, it’s a whole different story. Trips to the gym quickly turn into trips to the Sheetz, and those after-class gym sessions quickly get tossed aside by the better option of hanging with friends. Weekend gym plans are also easily replaced by hung-over weekends in bed, and a healthy diet is squashed by dorm food and drunken, 2 am pizza runs. Don’t worry. It happens to the best of us. Lucky for you, four months of summer is just what you need to get rid of that freshman 15 so it doesn't become the sophomore 30.

Dorms Are The Best/Worst Thing Ever - Oh, the dorm life of your freshman year…

Who wouldn't love to live in a building with 200 other freshman? It’s great having a hallway full of friends and constant options to hangout, meeting new people and not even having to leave the building, having a cafeteria so you don’t have to make food, and blasting music with your friends. You’re living the dream, right? By the end of the year, dorm life is a different story. Hanging out becomes tedious when you need to study and they don’t. A cafeteria full of the same tired food has kind of lost its appeal, and you’re dying to take a hot shower at home in your own bathroom. Trying to get some sleep while the guys down the hall decide to have a movie marathon on full blast? Not fun. Dorms are a necessary piece of freshman year, and they are the greatest place to work on new friendships. However, by the end of the year, you’ll be wondering just how soon you can get the keys to your new house.

Be Yourself - Most importantly, your first year of college teaches you to be yourself.

College is a fresh start, a chance to try new things, meet new people and find out who you are. That being said, this does not mean changing yourself to try and be “cool.”

People can always tell when someone isn't being true, and living a lie for four years of college is too tough to keep up. No one knows you better than yourself, so do what makes you happy, whether it’s reading comic books, joining the drama club or nothing at all.

College is full of people, and no matter what you do, you’ll make friends with similar interests. You want to be able to look in the mirror at the end of the day and smile, content with yourself that you’re happy being you, not trying to keep up the trying task of being someone you’re not.

Must Haves – Extra sheets. You never know when the occasional Toga Party might pop up or use it to hang up on the wall or ceiling to add color to a room that you’re not allowed to paint.  Snacks.  We all have late-night hunger emergencies. You’ll need a stash of food that you don’t need to cook or that will never go bad.  Earplugs. Dorms can be loud. Even if your room is relatively quiet, earplugs can help you keep your concentration while your next door neighbor does jumping jacks. Dry Erase Board. College is hectic. You've got meetings to attend, papers to write, or library books to return. A dry erase board is an easily visible place to keep track of your responsibilities. Also, it’s the perfect place to write your roommate a note—like “I bought some candy; help yourself” or, in a touchier situation, “Would you mind cleaning the bathroom? Thanks!” Odor Spray.  Crucial! You’ll thank yourself when the laundry machine is busted or your roommate reeks like a hippie retreat.

Don’t wait around for someone to give you permission to do things you want to do -  Sadly, I won’t be there along the way to give you all of my wisdom. I’ve been told that I need to cut the cord!  Reality is that no one but you is going to give you approval to take a chance, to mess things up, to thicken your skin, to speak up, to listen closely,  to connect, to learn, to grow, to give in, to take chances, to experience college in a way that will make you miss it so much that four years later when you’re 26, you’ll have a night where you drink too much rum at a party, start longing for the good old days and sob like a lunatic during the cab ride home while calling your college BFF.  Only you can give yourself that gift- so remember this: own your life.

By the way, I had a blast my four years at Slippery Rock University and I still keep in touch with a few of my college friends.