Tuesday, June 24, 2014

Mentor, Mentee and Mentos

This is the time of the year when gymnasiums and stadiums all over the country fill with graduates barely able to sit still during ceremonies before they will be set free to go on to do what they want.  It is the time of year when parents bounce from laughing to crying in a split second.

This is also a time when faculty members retire from their profession, cutting ties with the district that provided a weekly or bi-weekly direct deposit to their bank account.  Many of these retirees probably can remember the days when checks were typed and picked up in person in an envelope.

I am happy for these faculty members, now that they can go trout fishing, sleep in, stay in their jammies all day if they choose, poke around in bookshops, or travel to Antarctica, but when the retirement has to do with a person that I respect and regard as a mentor, that is a different story.  I’m happy, I’m sad….I want to beg that person to stay….

My mentor is retiring in a few days.  You all already know I’m full of emotion with my son graduating and moving on to bigger things, now this……

But there she is, or rather, there in the upper right corner of an invitation announcing the retirement celebration of 44 years in public education, is a picture of her, embellished in her sparkling Sabika jewelry. She is stylish and classy looking.  She is always impeccably dressed, head to toe.  Even in her 44th year of dressing for the professional world, she wears stilettos that make my feet hurt looking at them. 

So why is it that I am so exasperated over my mentor's retirement? Retirement is, after all, part of the natural cycle of the professional world, and why would I not allow someone I care for and have known for so long to retire? Is it because it makes me realize that I am growing older and retirement won’t be long for me either?  Not at all. It has nothing to do with seeing myself age, though I have come to know what it feels like to prepare for a colonoscopy and compression mammograms, and my lungs do not breathe as easily as they once did when I try to “run” upstairs, in my sensible shoes, to assist a teacher with a question.  It has to do more with missing her and wondering what the future will hold for our district and selfishly, for me. 

My mentor gave me an opportunity, for whatever reasons, to take on a huge role in the district.  It makes no difference to me how she came to the conclusion to ask me or what happened behind closed doors prior, all I know is that I received a call last summer asking me to consider being the district assessment coordinator.  More so, she believed I could do it. 

I have spent this past year in the district office with her.  Our offices were connected by her administrative assistant.  I spent a year exchanging emails with my mentor about assessment, curriculum and standards.  We shared stories about our families, friends and bling.  As I became more comfortable, I let my hair down, so to speak, and whipped out the yo-yo when I was stressed about PVAAS.  I told silly stories about myself and shared my emotions about Tyler.  In return, she shared her emotions and stories of her daughter leaving to go to college.  I discovered that we had similar things in common.  I saw tears when she spoke about leaving the district and because of my respect for her, I looked away…..or maybe it was because I didn't want her to see my eyes tearing up. 

I spent this past year working my doopa off to prove myself to her and the faculty, staff and administrators of Slippery Rock.  I knew I could do this job and do it well.  I think I surprised a lot of people, including myself.….did I surprise my mentor?  I’m not sure.  She never said one way or the other.  She was quick with a “great!” “good work” or “fabulous”.  She didn't hover and didn't spend time looking over my shoulder, she trusted that I would get tasks done.  She somehow became a benign presence with me, and no, I will not stoop so low as to designate her with the label “guardian angel”.

But in this past year, we did become friends.

After spending a year in the District office, I have a new-found respect of what she does.  I understand now some of what it takes to be an administrator. I clung to any little advice she threw out, such as, “Kim, you have to think like an administrator”…..”Kim, being an administrator can be lonely”….”Kim, it’s not always black and white, look at the big picture”….”Kim, do what’s right for the kids”.  She mentored me without even knowing she did. 

I guess I could equate my mentor-mentee relationship to the candy, Mentos.  I love Mentos.  I would eat them in church…not wanting to share them, but I did because it was the right thing to do.  Think about the Mentos jingle:
       'Doo doo  doo, doo-doo, do-Wah!'
 It doesn't matter what comes, fresh goes better with life,
 and Mentos is fresh and full of life.
 Nothing gets to you, staying fresh staying cool,
 with Mentos, fresh and full of life.
 Fresh goes better, Mentos freshness, fresh goes better
 with Mentos, fresh and full of life!
 Mentos, the freshmaker!

I learned from her that nothing will get to me if I stay “fresh” with what’s going on not only in the district, but also at the state level.   This past year I stayed “cool” with the confidence knowing that someone supported me and had my back.  The jingle alludes to the fact that Mentos can help solve everyday problems, such as showing up at a party in a long evening gown when everyone else is wearing short dresses.  Easy fix! Pop a Mentos (click to watch), and enjoyable little candy, in your mouth and then rip the bottom off the gown!  Ta-Da!  Okay, so maybe the video is a little far-fetched but the point is that Mentos, like mentors, can help no matter what comes along.  My mentor helped propel my career with expert guidance and perspective from years of experience. She was also there for me with everyday situations that came up. 


Congratulations and good luck to my boss, my mentor, my bling-sister, and my friend.  I am looking forward to seeing what the future holds for her.  She may be done with our district, but I know she isn't done finding a way to impact education, showing others how to "stay fresh" and "stay cool" and adding sparkle to the world.  

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