Final Pitch

This has been the week from-you-know-where!  But anyone who knows me well knew it would be.  The tears were and are ready to flow at any given moment.  I’d love to be able to control these overwhelming feelings that consume me, but I can’t.  They simply take over and control me. This week is full of too many lasts. 

…last week of baseball season

…last time Tyler will pitch wearing a Wild Cat uniform
               …last high school baseball game for Tyler

Going into the week we weren’t sure if this was actually going to be the last week of high school baseball for Shenango.  The team was coming off a huge win over Riverside which kept them alive for the third playoff spot in their section.  Tyler knew every scenario that would put them in the playoffs.  He knew that it primarily came down to us winning our last 2 games and Riverside or Beaver losing at least one.  I always hate relying on another team to lose.  It never works out the way you want it to. 

                        ....Why would this time be any different?

                                    .....Why would it actually work out in our favor?

This team worked hard this season to prove people wrong.  They battled against junk ball pitchers, annoying, chanting teams, nearly blind umpires and the weather.  Not only that, but the natives started getting restless ¾ of the way into the season and the grumbling started amongst the fans. 

I knew Tyler would pitch Monday night.  As always I was excited to know he was pitching.  On Monday morning after I packed his lunch, I sat down and wrote my #brownbag words of wisdom for his lunch.  I sat and just stared at the notecard for what felt like an eternity.

                        This is the last one that I will ever write……

The words just swirled in my brain.  I had so many things to say, so many words of wisdom and only one small notecard. I kept saying to myself, “Self, this is it.  This is the last time you will watch your son take the mound as a high school baseball player.  Today you will watch his final pitch as a high school baseball player.  Today is his final pitch on Chuck Tanner Field.”

It took me three tries to finally write one that wasn’t tear stained……

                        Today is your last day pitching on Chuck Tanner Baseball Field.

                        Words cannot express the amount of pride I have :)

                        Make today your best! 
                        Remember: don’t take hitters for granted, 
                        move the ball around, mix it up, keep it low…

                        Most of all….Have some fun :)

                        Xoxo Mom

I was so busy at work that I cried only when I mentioned to Denise that I had to leave at 3ish because Tyler had a game…

            …at Shenango

                        …..and he was pitching

                                     ….for the last time as a Wild Cat

She gets me, though.  She no longer looks at me with that “please don’t cry again” look.  Denise is actually the one who pushed me out the door at 3:15 and reminded me that my work could wait until the next day.  She also said to drive carefully and that my white Caddy didn’t need to be going 90 down Rt. 108.  Silly girl….

…I drive the speed limit

                                    ….unless I might miss the first pitch

                                                ….or get a call that Tyler doesn’t feel well

Jason called on my drive to the game and said Tyler wasn’t feeling well.  After asking a million-thousand questions that he could not answer, I started to feel some anxiety.  Did he have the flu?  Was it his allergies? Was he nervous?  Was he still playing? Pitching?  Could my Caddy go faster?  Why didn’t I leave sooner?

He played.  He pitched.  They won. They battled their usual elements…the rain…a chanting, annoying team…half blind umpires.  I was there with my face pressed against the fence, Jason was there, Briana was there, my mom was there, Colette, Pam, Chris and Dylon were there, an old friend of ours was there, and his grandparents were there, in spirit, in his heart. 

We all watched from the first pitch of his last game pitching to the last pitch of his last game pitching that led to the last out. 

                        ….his final pitch

I turned to Colette after the game and said, “That’s it.  Is it okay to cry now?”  My cute little friend, who knows very little about baseball, watched the entire game in the rain with me. She looked at me with tears in her eyes, “Yep, you can cry now.” 

                      ......and I did

In the end, the win didn't matter.  They didn't get in.  Shenango didn't make the playoffs.  My heart still  aches for the nine seniors.

The boys have one more game left.  Senior recognition night….tomorrow night.  It is the first ever senior recognition for the baseball team.  For Tyler and a couple others, it is the only senior recognition they will have.  I felt they deserved it.  So I asked for it and permission was granted.  My emotions will continue to be on overload.  It will be tough to stand on the field with my arm entwined with his and not visualize his first tee ball game when he was four...

                                     ….the first time he hit a home run

                                                 …the first game he pitched

                                                            ….playing catch in the yard

                                                                          …the first varsity game he pitched

During each of those moments I was so full of pride that I thought I would burst.  Standing on that field tomorrow with Tyler, the amount of pride that I will feel with surpass all those moments added together. Pride mixed with sadness mixed with anxiety.  But it is time for him to move on.  

It’s time to say good bye to high school baseball. 

Good byes are always so full of sadness. 

Instead let’s say it is time to say hello. 

Hello to a new adventure. 

            Hello La Roche baseball.