The Empty Nest Approacheth

Last summer at this time the big question was “Is Tyler ready for his senior year?”  My answer was simple, “We don’t mention the “S” word in my house.”   Although I said it jokingly, deep down I was serious.  We simply did not talk about it. 

This past year has been a frenzy of activity and emotions. From the first day of his senior year right up to the Senior All-Night Party, it has been non-stop.  It’s almost July and we really haven’t slowed down.  We went from high school baseball right into summer ball.  Throw in graduation parties, a new kitten, and vacation planning and that’s my life right now.  It feels like every other summer except when nice, unknowing people ask me, “So, is Tyler ready for college?” And this is always followed by, “Are you ready?”  Punch me in the stomach, why don’t ya?!?

Okay, you all can quit asking me that now.  It’s just a reminder that in 55 days, Tyler will move into his dorm at La Roche.  It’s a reminder that in 55 days my life is going to change drastically.  It’s a reminder that prior to August 22,  I need to secure my tree stand in the tallest tree I can find on the La Roche campus and purchase the strongest pair of binoculars I can find. 

I think I’m actually in a state of disbelief.  I’m trying to treat this summer as if it were any other summer….as if at the end of August he will attend Shenango High School again….as if he’ll be sleeping in his bedroom here…as if he’ll be home every night to have dinner with me….as if I don’t need the tree stand and binoculars….as if I won’t need medicated come August. 

But….

The empty nest approacheth.

You know, it’s almost as if being a parent is a little like being Dr. Frankenstein. My work, for almost two decades, has been to create a human being who is prepared to go out into the world and thrive. But I’m not done. Seventeen years wasn’t long enough.   Parts are still missing. He can’t go! My work is not done! Like all of you, I didn’t receive an instructional manual when my child arrived.  And I have to admit, I've never been great at putting Tab A into Slot B. If there is a Quality Control Specialist on this case I'm in trouble. And in 55 days, I'll no doubt lie in bed staring at the ceiling, wondering if I tightened up that one bolt…..the bolt that will hold everything together.

In 56 days, I'll have to remember who the heck I am. I have been somebody's mom, somebody's taxi and somebody's lunch money for so long. What did I used to do? Anyone? I think I read books and once upon a time I was athletic. There had to be more to it than that, but I just don't recall. I suppose time will fill in the blanks….right?

That's probably enough for now anyway, because I'm sure a lot of my time will be taken up with worrying. During my drive to work in the morning, I’ll worry if he has clean underwear or if he slept in. In the evenings, my thoughts will be consumed with wondering if he is out gallivanting when he should be studying.   And those are just minor worries that will come up!  That tree stand idea is sounding more ideal as I type!

So, as I float through the remainder of the summer and my son prepares for college, I need to prepare for my empty nest. I already know that my mood will swing radically from sad to exuberant. Like childbirth, everyone has an opinion when it comes to sending off my only child to college. People say it will be very quiet. Apparently, this is a bad thing. They also claim I can now focus on me. Oh? Well, that’s part of the dilemma. After seventeen years of focusing on my kiddo, that’s going to be tough.  Plus, has anyone thought about the hazards lurking in the empty nest? I can think of three off the top of my head…….

Hazard #1--- The Front Door: For the last 3 years I lay in my bed awake until the front door opened and my son was home from wherever. I’d hear him lock it and turn on the alarm and start his bedtime routine. In 56 days, if I hear the front door open in the middle of the night, I need to grab my baseball bat and call 911.

 

Hazard #2 Rusty Spy Skills: I’ve been sleuthing around for almost 18years making sure my child was safe. I’ve listened to car pool conversations without letting on, and honed my olfactory senses to detect cigarette residue and underage drinking. I’ve become a master of social media and finding backdoors into each one.  In 56 days, I'll no longer need eyes in the back of my head except to catch the kitten climbing my drapes. A spying hiatus can hinder my skills and by winter break time, they will be useless. Use it or lose it. I might need to consider a new career in law enforcement, or pursue a CSI consulting gig.

Hazard #3 Wardrobe Malfunctions: Now that there is no teen at home to critique my clothing choices there's a really good chance I will walk into the world and embarrass myself. Hey, who knew it wasn’t cool to wear a fanny pack anymore?  Time to buy a fashion magazine or DVR "What Not To Wear".

It will be okay, though.  That’s what I keep hearing. 

So, to answer the question that I keep hearing over and over….Yes, Tyler is excited and ready for La Roche.  At least that is the image he portrays.  Is he nervous and full of anxiety on the inside, you betcha!  What incoming college freshman isn’t?  As for the second part of that question, I’ll be ready as soon as my tree stand is secure in the highest tree on campus.