Hey you! Yeah, you! Get a Grip!

Like many of you who have a son playing baseball, a number of men have coached my son through the years.   Off the top of my head, I can think of 14 different baseball coaches from t-ball to travel ball to high school varsity baseball.  Some of them had college level playing experience; some of them had high school experience only.  And I swear one or two of them never even picked up a baseball prior to the first practice.  Each had a unique coaching style which, as a parent, I may or may not have agreed with. 

One thing I can say about each of the coaches Tyler had throughout the years is that they each had a love for the game.  I can say that about any coach Tyler had for any sport.  And they must because coaching can be a thankless job.  Parents can become the enemy real fast.  Put little Johnny on the bench longer than his parents feel necessary and watch the volcano erupt.  This isn’t just limited to baseball.  I remember back in the day when I coached high school volleyball.  I had a parent rip me up one side and down the other for an issue with her daughter.  Clearly the parent knew nothing about volleyball or sports in general. The parent even added at the end of the butt-ripping she gave me,  ‘All you do is strut around at practice and games all pretty-like’….Umm, okay?  Thanks?

There is a baseball quote that I just love…..”Baseball was made for kids, and grown-ups only screw it up”.  How true is that? It's hard to disagree when you read stories of coaches fighting at youth games; a parent being accused of beating another parent to death after practice; and an over involved parent who makes his child run home behind the car because he didn't perform well in a game.  Run home behind the car?  Come on! Heck, the worst my dad did was requiring me to pitch 100 softballs into a bucket on the morning of a game.  And I thought that was abuse!

The emotions a parent feels when watching his/her child play in organized sports can vary from happiness and pride to anger and disappointment. I don’t think most parents realize how emotional they become when they get caught up in the moment of watching their child in a competitive environment.  I know that I’m emotional.  You all know that I am emotional! I try to keep my comments to a low roar but there are times that Tyler has heard me and has reprimanded me at home…..”Really, mom?  Did you honestly think he could score on that passed ball?  The backstop was less than a foot away!”……”But Tyler…I….”…..”No mom, just stop!  You were wrong!”……..Oh.

Parents need to take a step back and control their emotions.  I doubt if there are many, if any, players who would feel better if his mom/dad approached the coach during a game and asked why he’s not playing.  I know the last thing I’d ever want to do is embarrass my child.  Well, at least not at a baseball game.  Naked baby pictures are a mother’s prerogative and don’t count.

Also, there’s that whole role model thing we unknowingly kinda signed up for when we became parents.   You know, lead by example. You wouldn't want your child to talk back or yell at the umpire. You also want them to be able to handle complicated situations without choosing anger and yelling. And if not, well, remember karma will bite you and some day you might find yourself on the receiving end of your child’s anger. 

I’m not saying that we should not stand up for our child but there is a time and a place.  But we need to remember who and what we are. Ultimately, we are a support system for our child. We need to cheer for and support the team.  When it comes down to it, most of the time the kid knows that he is not better than those who play. They know that getting to practice and putting on their high school jersey is a privilege. And some are happy to just be a part of the team. 

It is the parents who have to come to grips with reality.  If not, then maybe some parents should be banned. If lucky, someone will tape the game and they can watch it after-the-fact on YouTube. 

This is simply a call to all of the parents of high school, or any level of athletics. Know your place. Know your duties. Don't cross that line because you disgrace yourself, you embarrass your kids and you hurt the team.