Wednesday, February 7, 2024

Just Like That.....

Just like that….. 
     the call woke me from my sleep 
     my sister calling to say my dad was called to the hospital 
     wait, what? I just talked to her she was doing okay, 
     she sounded winded and tired but okay 
     this must be a dream- a bad one 
Just like that… 
     my phone rang again
     deep in my heart I knew what I was going to hear
     taking a deep breath, I answered
     kim, she didn’t make it 
     Then I heard sobbing….my sobbing 
     I called my other sister 
     she knew what I was going to say- 
     we cried on the phone together 
Just like that… 
     one husband lost the love of his life 
     four daughters lost their mom 
     six grandchildren lost their grandmother …………………………………………………………………………………………………… 
It was decided that I would give the eulogy at my mom’s funeral. I have done a lot of public speaking but this was by far the hardest speech I ever gave. As I spoke, I kept glancing at my dad who stared straight ahead at the casket…nodding when appropriate and sometimes smiling at what I said. 

One thing I can say for certain is that we were not ready for this….
             My dad just bought her the house she wanted in Florida, 
                Great grandkids still have things for her to attend , 
                    Grandkids still have weddings and new babies coming, 
                        Kids- her girls - still need their mom    

 My parents' love story started many, many years ago. Young teenagers who fell in love and were married in 1966 when my dad was 16 and my mom was 15. You don’t hear of that too often. I mean, I work with students that age and they can’t even remember their Chromebook password so I can’t imagine any of them getting married. My parents would have celebrated their 57th  anniversary this past December. To say that is amazing is an understatement. They were best friends and soul mates. You rarely saw one without the other. Classic car cruises became their together-hobby. They attended cruises and car shows here and in Florida. They own more than one classic car, because, well, that’s what my mom wanted.

 Jim and Jake….Jake and Jim…why “Jake” many have asked……simply put- he didn’t like her name and started calling her Jake when they were kids and it stuck.

 My mom had 4 girls by the age of 26. 4 girls! I would love to say we were all angels….but that would be lying. We were typical siblings who argued, fought and were sassy teenagers. Because of this my mother perfected what I called her “wooden spoon backhand”. Let it be known that “wooden spoon” could stand for a hairbrush, wooden paddle or even one time, a paint brush. You never knew when it was coming or where it would land. Oh, and if you weren’t the intended target but you were in the near vicinity, you were getting it too. Except for Jamie - who was spoiled and never knew the wrath of the “wooden spoon”.

 On the other end of this, though, is how kind and giving my mother was. A place to stay, financial assistance or just an ear to listen….she was forever saying to people, “let’s go for coffee soon”. And I can’t count the number of times over the years that friends and family stayed at our home when needed.

 For the last few years, she crotched 100s of winter hats for students at Union Elementary. She crocheted blankets and baby outfits for new babies, slippers for her great-niece that couldn’t wear shoes, and blankets for whoever she felt needed one. One year she made mats for the homeless out of Walmart bags. She carried around a bag of bags for a couple months while making them. And, of course, we called her the BAG LADY because of it.

 My mother loved animals….some days I think she loved animals more than people. Over the years she had dogs, cats, birds, ducks, rabbits, turtles and even a pot-belly pig. She had a stroller for her dogs and would take them to the ballfield with her because, well, who didn’t take a stroller full of little dogs to the ballfield? Her love for animals extended to critters that would stop by their yard —birds, squirrels, wild ducks, turkey and deer. She was always calling to tell me the different birds she saw in her feeders and to talk about the pair of ducks who would swim in the pool. AND she loved to try and hand feed the critters. She fed the ducks and turkey that came to the yard. One of my earliest memories of her hand feeding critters was a camping trip when we were kids. A pregnant skunk waddled up every night looking around. After a couple nights, my mom decided to feed it. I watched from the safety of the tent as my mom hand fed that skunk marshmallows. As they were bonding, her dog decided to join.  Long story short - camping

trip ended with a stinky, pink dog because my mom bathed a white dog in tomato juice.

 My mom loved safari type places such as Wagon Trails and Keystone safari. And even though she feared heights, my dad was able to talk her into riding an elephant years ago and more recently a camel when they were in Egypt.

 

We were all very active growing up. She sat at all types of sporting events- in all kinds of weather-, concerts, assemblies and even chaperoned school trips. That didn’t stop when we were grown- not only did she attend doctor appointments, surgeries and other stuff for us but also started attending sporting events, concerts and assemblies for her grandchildren and then great grandchildren. She was always there. Heck, on the day I had Tyler, my mom was at the hospital before I was! It’s safe to say my mom lived for her husband, kids, grandkids and great grandkids.

 The passing of my mom left a huge hole in our lives and hearts – we lost our biggest cheerleader and my dad is lost his soulmate.

 If you knew my mom, I guarantee that the first thing you think is that she was always around

    .....always there

        .....showing up

            .....always present

My  mother was not the overly affection type of person and, of course, she was not perfect but she taught us the most valuable lesson and showed her love in the best way she knew how. She taught us that being  present is an irreplaceable gift that we can give to our family and friends.

And just like that...        

    .....I know her presence will always be felt in my life.