Enjoy the “Lasts” as much as the “Firsts”

When Tyler was growing up, as all parents do, I made a big deal out of his “Firsts”. His first smile. His first step.  His first word (‘Gup’…he always wanted to go up the steps to see grandma and grandpa).  His first pitch.  The list goes on and on. 

Now that Tyler is older and is ready to move onto bigger things, I wish I had paid more attention to his “Lasts”.   The last time he called me “Mommy”.  The last time we watched a Disney movie together.  The last time I rocked him to sleep and watched him sleep peacefully in my arms.  The last time he let me hold his hand. 

These are all huge milestones, and yet I let them pass without paying any attention to them. What would my thoughts have been if I knew it would be the last time he would climb onto my lap for a good morning cuddle? Or the last time he would hide under the blankets pretending to be sleeping so I would tickle him? 

His Senior year is full of firsts and lasts.  Last first brown bag lunch.   Last Homecoming. Last home football game.  Last first semester of high school. Last first golf match. Last writing assessment. Last finals week. Last Prom.  Last Sports Recognition Assembly.  Last first day of school. Why didn't I hug him that morning like I did just before he got onto the bus his very first day of school?  I really wish I had. 

Last high school baseball season.  Last first game of the season.  Last first pitch……..

I've thought about this numerous times over the past months but it really hit me hard the other day when I thought I was going to be late for Tyler’s game and miss his first pitch of the season. 

     His last

               first pitch

                           of his last first game

                                                     of his last season 

                                                                         of high school baseball  

There was no way I was going to miss his last first scrimmage!  I left work at 2:30 which gave me plenty of time to get to Woodland Hills High School in Pittsburgh.  My GPS gave me the arrival time of 3:34 PM.  Perfect!  It was freezing so that would give me time to change out of my high heels into boots and to put on my winter coat, gloves and scarf before the game started at 4:00. 

Cruising down Rt 79, singing along to my tunes, I was a happy chick….today there was going to be a baseball game! Yeeeehaww!  I exited Rt 79 to take the turnpike and came to the proverbial fork in the road (okay, it wasn't necessarily a “fork” but it’s my blog so I say it is!) …Harrisburg or Ohio. 

Can you guess where this is heading?  You got it….Ohio!  I picked the exit for Ohio!  As I continued to sing-along to Pink!  I started to notice barns and fields on my left and right.  Hmmmm…This isn't what I remembered seeing on the turnpike.  It wasn't until I noticed a sign that said “Beaver Falls 15 miles” that I looked at my GPS.  My arrival time changed from 3:34 to 4:10.  That’s when I realized what I had done!  What the heck! Why hadn't my GPS screamed at me to “MAKE. A. U-TURN. WHEN. POSSIBLE”?

4:10?  4:10!!!  The game started at 4:00!  I had to go 15 miles in the wrong direction before I could exit and turn around and head in the right direction.  The amount of profanity that came from my mouth was enough to make a sailor blush! Then tears came pouring out of my eyes because I knew that I would never forgive myself if I missed that “pitch”.  I’m sure that I looked like a crazy woman flying down the turnpike crying and cussing but I was hell-bent on getting there before 4:10.  

I pulled into Woodland Hills High School parking lot at 4:06.  I could see the players on the field!  I kept telling myself that they were just warming up, the game hadn't started!  After all, Kim Booher wasn't there yet! Didn't they know better?  Didn't they know I would be there as soon as possible?!? NOPE! The cuss words started flowing out again like word vomit.  I grabbed my bag and started towards the field.  “Started towards the field” meant I trekked up a gravel path to the field on top of a hill…a big hill….in high heels....against the wind...in the freezing cold. 

Tyler was just grabbing his glove to go on the field to warm up. It was the bottom on the first.  Out of breath, I gave Tyler a little wave and said, “I made it”.  He gave me the nod and trotted onto the field.  I guess getting the nod was better than nothing.  After all, he didn't know I drove like a banshee woman to get there in time.  He didn't realize that first pitch was on a list of many lasts of this year.  He didn't know his mother was full of emotion. Okay, he knows I'm full of emotion, he just chooses to ignore it.  

I opened the gate and walked into the dugout and started taking pictures of Tyler.  I made it!  I!   Made!    It! 

I did not miss Tyler’s last first pitch!  I did a little fist pump and silently patted myself on the back.  Then I noticed a young coach sitting on the bucket watching me.  Yikes!  I introduced myself and decided I wouldn’t embarrass Tyler any further by explaining to the young coach that I was full of emotion.  Let him find out on his own some day when he has children!

The bottom line is that the “Lasts” stink.  But it will lead to a new list of “Firsts” which means new beginnings, new opportunities, new memories, and new challenges.

And THAT’S exciting to me!

In the meantime, let’s PLAY BALL!

   

Got Bragging Rights?

I admit that I enjoy talking about Tyler and his baseball. Whether it is via conversation, Facebook statuses or blogging, I enjoy sharing about baseball. Everything he does is a lot of fun and writing about his accomplishments often occurs. But I try to be very careful not to regularly cross the line from being proud to bragging. I know I sometimes do cross the line (don’t most parents?), but I try to keep it in check.

So what is the difference between bragging and just being a proud parent sharing information?  I asked a friend that question when we discussed it briefly yesterday.  Her thoughts were that bragging occurs when you talk about your kid in such a way that it makes other kids look bad.  In other words, bragging transpires when you make yourself feel good at the expense of making someone else feel bad. For example, let’s say you know that 30 kids tried out for a spot on the local team, and your child was the only one his/her age to make the team. Don’t brag about your child’s sports prowess to the parents of your child’s friends.

Yes, I talk about Tyler on Facebook and on my blog.  Actually, I switched to blog format because I knew that I would be full of emotion this year and would talk about Tyler and all the ups and downs of his senior year.

Yet, is what I’m doing bragging?  Maybe some of my friends on Facebook think my photos are kind of bragging, an embedded “look at how happy I am with my kid and my life.” But if we take this turn down Facebook Lane, things could easily start getting ugly, because then, wouldn’t everything on Facebook be considered “singing your own praises”? Yes, everything, from a person’s picture of his/her World Series tickets or tickets from a Broadway Show (“Look how well-connected and/or cultured I am!”) to another’s pictures of his/her beach vacation (“Look at how well-traveled/happily relaxed I am!”) to another’s selfies (come on, a person wouldn’t be posting pictures of his/herself if he/she didn’t think they were pretty good-looking, right?).

Here’s the thing: I am pretty happy, emotional, but happy. I do get incredible enjoyment from Tyler and his baseball, and I’m proud of him. And I think a healthy level of pride, as demonstrated by posting pictures or status updates, is acceptable.

Are children less acceptable topics of pride for parents, than are the number of pounds someone lost on a diet?  Or maybe the number of miles ran during a workout?  Or a job promotion?  Why are any of these deserved moments of pride more acceptable than a picture of my son smiling (or not, knowing him) while holding an award for Pitcher of the Year?

They’re not.

I don’t get mad at my friends who post pictures of the amazing looking meals they’ve just cooked (I may drool a little, though). I’m not angry with friends who show pictures of homemade pies and cookies they are about to devour while I munch on celery and carrots because I battle my weight every day.

  

As someone who has never made a homemade pie in her life and has gone so far as to call burnt  cheese sticks “dinner”–maybe I am supposed to feel intimidated by these things.  But I don’t. Instead, I think, “Wow, I’m lucky to have such amazing friends.”

 Okay, really I think, “Wow, why don’t they make those pies and cookies for me?”

There is nothing wrong with being proud and sharing it.  If this is bragging, then BRAG, people, BRAG. I am happy when I see that my friends have things in their life that make them happy.  I don’t care whether it’s adorable kids, a new puppy, beach vacations, or great skinny jeans. I love seeing those proud-moment pictures!  I will “like” them, with no bitterness whatsoever. Boom-shak-a-la-ka-la-ka!!

So while others are posting accomplishments in the gym, kitchen and/or at work, I’ll continue to write about my son’s baseball. 

To me the bottom is line is this.........if I resent the happiness and/or successes of Facebook friends, then I’m not really their “friend,” Facebook or otherwise.

What's In Your Bag?

Tomorrow is the first game of Tyler’s last year of high school baseball.  Wait for it….wait for it….

I’m sooooo full of emotion!

I spent some time this evening getting my baseball mom bag ready for the season.  I’m not sure about the rest of you, but my baseball mom bag is a big part of who I am.  The style of bag has changed through the years, but most of the items have remained constant. 

 So, what's in my bag?  Below are the things that will travel with me to Tyler’s games this season:

Rain poncho and small umbrella.  These are for those unexpected pop-up type showers.  The big golf-size umbrellas are in the car. 

Towels.  For wiping dirty hands, face, spikes, baseballs…anything and everything.

Gloves and scarf.  It is spring in Western Pa! You never know what weather you will get.

Gloves for Tyler.  He's never used them, but I have them...just...in....case!

 Pitch counter.  I never leave home without this!  I keep pitch count on here and in the score book.

Camera.  I’m kinda embarrassed by how many pictures I end up with at the end of the season.  I have 100s of Tyler and his friends.  To make it worse, I take numerous pictures on my iPhone too!

Score books.  I always have two!  I take that back, not always.  I don’t keep a book during the high school games so I leave them at home. These are for summer games.

Notepad and pencil.  Not just ANY pencil.  I’m very, very picky with my scoring pencils.

Sunglasses.  I keep this spare pair in my baseball mom bag.  Again, Western Pa. weather so you never know what to expect.

Readers.  In case I forget mine in the car and need to read a text.  I just keep these in my bag.

Essentials!  Wipes, hairspray, deodorant, and Gold Bond Powder.  I think no explanation is needed for these items, right?

Miscellaneous items.  I fit all of these items in a little cosmetic bag.  I have contact solution, tape, pre-wrap, cough drops, safety pins, hand sanitizer, back-up pitch counter, oversized band aids, mirror, hair clip, hair band, Neosporin, ibuprofen, Axe body spray, eye black and Chapstick. 

Necessities.  Gum, seeds and Tic-Tacs.  I will throw in the Gatorade tomorrow right before the game. 

Hand warmers. These are a life saver for a pitcher!

 

I keep blankets, sweatshirts, toilet paper (true story) and a first aid kit in my trunk.  Even with all of that, I still often times feel like I'm forgetting something.  

I feel like I don’t have my A-game on yet!  As much as I’ve anticipated the start of the season, I’m not ready!  But come tomorrow at 4:00, I'll be ready!  Tyler will be the starting pitcher and I intend to have my spot up on the fence, camera in hand, ready to take a picture of the first pitch of his senior year.  

Play Ball!!!!!

This is the Beginning of Your Future....

 We visited La Roche again last weekend.  This visit was a little different from the others.  Tyler had to take his placement test for writing and math and get his college ID picture taken.  While that was going on, a number of different speakers presented information to us about areas such as financial aid, campus life, etc….

This visit made it real.  In a few shorts months; Tyler would be a freshman at La Roche College.

As we sat in the room waiting for the presentation to start, I eyed up the other incoming freshmen and parents.  I looked for anyone who seemed shady.   Of course, I looked for baseball players as well because that’s what baseball moms do!  I saw limited shady characters, possibly 2 baseball players and thus far, no tears for me.  Maybe I was getting used to this “college” thing. 

Because I’m a big nerd, I sat in the front row.  I pulled out my pen and paper and settled in to prepare to take as many notes as I could.  Marie Deem, Associate Dean of Academic Affairs for Student Academic Support Services, smiled and welcomed all of us.  I thought, ‘Hey, she’s nice!  I like her’.   She explained the day’s events and then before dismissing the students for testing, she added, “This is the beginning of your future”.   

Wait! What? Oh, Marie! Why? Why, Marie, why??   I liked you! I felt I bonded with you!  How could you do this? You just ripped my heart out and stomped on it, Marie!

And just like that I was full of emotion.  The tears filled my eyes as I watched Tyler leave the room never once looking back at his momma.  He left with all those shady characters!  I sat there praying and hoping no one tried to slip him a rohypnol!  How was I supposed to concentrate?

But I did.  For 2 hours I listened to various speakers chat about different aspects of the La Roche experience. And I can proudly say that I only asked one question!   Finally, Marie let us know that the students were done testing and they were coming to join us. 

Wait! What?  Sweet! Way to totally redeem yourself, Marie! I take back all those plans I made in my head to create a voo-doo doll of you when I got home!

Because I’ve matured, I knew better than to jump up and run to Tyler as soon as I saw him.  Instead I sat patiently and waited for him to come to me and tell me everything while I sat and listened quietly without interrupting.

HA!  Yeah, right!!!! Me? Sit patiently?  Listen Quietly?? I walked over to him (speed walking counts as walking!) and listened semi-quietly! Hey, I’m full of emotion and I had questions! That was the best I could do!

We finished listening to the speakers and then ate lunch in the “Café”, as Tyler likes to call it.  I felt it my duty to explain to him what the “Freshman 15” was and that ice cream is not his friend! We visited the bookstore to purchase some gear and I introduced myself to the father of an incoming freshman baseball player (another story for another day).  We met with my BFF, Marie, and set up a preliminary schedule for Tyler and miraculously, I kept my mouth shut and let him make his own decisions about what courses he wanted to take. 

La Roche baseball had a double-header that day so we headed to the baseball field.  I walked a little behind Tyler as he walked towards the field.  As I watched him stop and just look out over the field, the field where he will play next year, my heart and head started swimming with emotion.  Pride. Love. Sadness. Adoration.  Apprehension.  Excitement. Loneliness.  Overwhelmed. 

He turned to me and smiled and said, “I love this view, mom.  I love this field. I can’t wait to play here next year.”  And at that point the only emotion I felt was extreme happiness for my son. 

I whispered, “This is the beginning of your future…….”

Both mine and his. 

    

Does This Job Make My Butt Look Bigger?

Does this job make my butt look bigger?

Once upon a time when I was a librarian, I never sat.  I darted around the library doing various librarian tasks that needed to be done.  Bending and reaching to put books away, carrying or pushing AV equipment or instructing and assisting students.  There were a few times that I pulled out the yo-yo and did tricks for the students or taught mini-lessons on how to box out under the hoop. I never thought about the physical activity that I engaged in during the day as a librarian.  I went to work, did my job and had fun doing it. 

I have a new position now and I love it!  Let me say that again,

I ab-sooooo-lute-ly love my job!  I arrive at work by 7:30 and on most days I leave at 4:30 only because the secretary at the front desk kicks me out. There is so much to do and so much that I can dive into on a daily basis.  Fortunately for me, the world of curriculum and assessment in public education is growing.  There are days when I am at one of the schools in our district or I have to attend some type of training at the Intermediate Unit, but for the most part, I am in my office, at my desk…....sitting…....for…......hours. 

I’m not used to all this sitting.  I swear there are days that I actually feel the fat building up in buttocks and hips from sitting.  My once-bumpin’ backside seems like it has become a sad lump of Silly Putty that looks like it’s been stomped on by a 7-mile-long marching band parade.

There has to be a few office-friendly fitness moves that can rein in the dreaded office-chair demise, right? I’m not talking about a “Brazil Butt Lift” look, just something to help my backside from spreading.  They need to be subtle fitness moves, ones my co-workers won’t know I’m doing when they stop by my office. 

I consulted my friend Google for some assistance and here are a few that I found:

1.  Leg Circles--Sit at the edge of your chair with your left leg bent and your right leg straight. Slowly make small circles to the right with your straight leg……..Might as well stop right there.  I’m pretty sure that one would be noticeable to all who walked by my office door. 

2.  The Alphabet--Sit at the edge of your chair. Lift one leg with your toes slightly touching the ground. Simulate painting each letter in the alphabet on the floor with your toes. Then repeat the alphabet, but with your heel slightly touching the ground. Switch legs after completing the alphabet with your toes and heel at least one or two times through….Okay, seems simple enough until someone calls me on the phone and as I’m listening to them talk they hear me muttering the alphabet.  Moving right along to the next one…..

3.   Buttocks Squeeze-- The easiest exercise you can do while working is buttocks squeezes. Just sit in your chair and squeeze your butt, and then release. To make the exercise more difficult, hold the squeeze a few seconds before releasing. Try doing this for one minute……Ummmm, next!

Maybe someone will invent some type of chair that will prevent the downfall of the backsides of people everywhere who sit at their desk for several hours a day.  Something simple yet elegant like the Charigami chair.  

Charigami?  

Yep!  This cardboard chair is designed to promote good posture and reduce back pain (http://www.chairigami.com/seating.html).  Really?

There doesn't seem to be an easy answer to help prevent the "office chair spread" of my hindquarters. So for now I will just enjoy my job and do little things to get my boo-tay up and moving.  Sooo starting tomorrow I'm going to set the alarm on my phone so that I get up and walk every hour or so.    

Pssttttt......I'm doing buttock squeezes as I sit here and type this :)

  

Lookin' for a hobby

Tyler’s senior year is half over.  I have to admit that so far it has been pretty smooth.  The dreaded “Senioritis” hasn't set in yet and I haven’t received any alarming news that he won't be graduating for some obscure reason.   Don’t get me wrong, I’m still full of emotion and could cry at the drop of a hat, but life is moving along….

            …..quickly

                        …..too quickly

He graduates in 94 days…that’s approximately 2256 hours….minus 7 hours a day for sleeping—1598 hours...minus school and work hours….time with friends….baseball practice and games….I have approximately 100 quality hours with Tyler before he graduates! Ohhh, I can feel my emotions starting to overflow…..

According to Wikipedia, the definition of “Empty Nest Syndrome” is a feeling of grief and loneliness parents may feel when their children leave home for the first time, such as to live on their own or to attend a college or university. It is not a clinical condition.  Whoa! What?! It’s not a clinical condition? 

So how will I put all the extra time to good use? Here I am, in my forties. It seems like my breasts, and everything else, sag a little more each day.  My eyes don't work as well as they used to.  I haven't shaved my legs since all this cold weather began. I can't remember, half the time, what I went to get when I walk  into another room to get something. And I am well on my way to being called "The crazy cat lady". It will be hard to convince myself that I shouldn't just sit on the couch and watch TV.  

A hobby.  That’s what everyone keeps telling me…that I will need a hobby.  But what?  Maybe I could learn hip hop? Try an art class? Maybe tango or some salsa lessons? Pole dancing?
 

Dancing isn't really my thing so how about a new sport?  I could try water polo? No, that would mess up my hair.  How about ice hockey?  Heck no, I hate being cold.  Fencing? Kickboxing? How about kickball? Maybe I can find a kickball, or whiffle ball league to participate in. 

Drums!  That’s it! I’ll take some lessons and then join a rock band!  Or I’ll recruit friends and create my own garage band!  

I’m not ready for my baby bird to leave the nest.  The thought of it makes me feel sad and depressed.  It is not healthy. I know this. I am dealing with it through the help of Google. After all, Google always has the right answers.   Here are some of the tips I picked up:

Accept the timing. Avoid comparing your child’s timetable to your own personal experience. Instead, focus on what you can do to help your child succeed when he or she does leave home.
Ok…I can do this.

Keep in touch. You can continue to be close to your children even when you live apart. Make an effort to maintain regular contact through visits, phone calls, emails, texts or video chats.
Ok…I can drunk dial him. I have his number.

Stay positive. Thinking about the extra time and energy you might have to devote to your personal interests after your child leaves home might help you adapt to this major life change.
Stay positive?  Major Life Change?  Stupid Google!  Never believe everything you read on the Internet!

Of course in this day and age, the social media era, my nest doesn't necessarily have to be empty. It can simply go digital.  If Tyler won’t be a willing party then my only other option is social media stalking.  I would imagine that after a few “I miss you, my little bear cub” tweets to him that he will remember to call me on a daily basis.  

I need to jump over to Twitter now to stalk.....errr..... I mean to do some Intense research of an individual.  Yeah, that's it....intense research.  

Baseball Mom vs Football Mom

Recently my sister, Beth, texted me and said, “I’m so full of emotion right now…”  Whoa! That’s my line!  I’m the only one allowed to be full of emotion, right?  I told her to write a blog about being a football mom to which she responded that she’d leave the blogging to me.   Oh, okay, I’ll write an article on being a football mom, only I've never been one.  I started thinking…is there a difference between a football mom and a baseball mom? 

Tyler has never played organized football.  He  never really wanted to.  When he was younger, he was questioned every fall by the local dads “why aren't you playing football?”……”a kid your size and you aren't playing?”…..and my favorite, “doesn't your mom allow you to play?...which is a blog topic for another time!   On the other hand, my nephew, Steven, who is a few weeks younger than Tyler, lives for football.  He played baseball too and was good, but football is his love.   As I type this, Steven is in North Carolina for a long-snapper (is that the right term?) camp. 

The Baseball Mom vs the Football Mom--Is there a difference?  I've attended football games to watch classmates of Tyler or my nephews.  I am so not a football mom. I am a baseball mom. I get baseball - get excited about it. I understand it, I can follow it, and I like it. Football - not so much. And I look around at all the other moms who are so into it and seem to understand what is going on. Then I look back out there on the field and all I can see is a bunch of little kids running around jumping on top of each other. Am I watching the same game they are? Where is the instant replay, slow motion and zoom lens? Because that is the only hope of me understanding what in the world is going on out there - a televised broadcast, with beer, snacks and possibly a nap during the third quarter.

So what are some characteristics of a football mom that I have learned from my sister throughout the years?

1.  Her fall wardrobe has nothing to do with “her” colors, and everything to do with Steven’s team colors.

2.  She got used to her car smelling like a mixture of mud and a gym. 

3.  Her menu planner for the family’s meals on Friday nights automatically reads: hot dogs, pizza, popcorn, choice of pop and Swedish fish.

4.  She instinctively charged me 50 cents for my can of Diet Pepsi when I stopped by her house.

5.  She carries a dozen blankets in her trunk.

6.  When the play is over, everyone else looks for the ball and she looks for her son.

7. While watching the game and having a conversation with me, she can stop mid-sentence and change her voice to a deep, devil-like one yelling “STOP HIM!!” and then back to a sweet, innocent one asking me how work is in .0005 seconds. 

Lastly, fellow football moms have each other’s back like no other group of moms I have seen. Moms are IT in the football world.  What does an NFL wide receiver do when he returns to the sidelines after scoring a touchdown?   He yells "Hi Mom!" into the camera.  Likewise, when a young boy runs to the sidelines after his extremely awesome play he wants to see is mom.  But if his mom misses THAT PLAY and her son comes hurrying to the sidelines looking for the thumbs up or the WooHoo and she doesn't know what he has done, she is pretty much screwed.  That’s when the  fellow football moms step up.  These moms have formed a sisterhood.  They have gathered in the rain and cold, celebrated in the sun, watched each other's children, traded community news (okay, okay Gossip), but mostly they live by the chant YOU ALWAYS SAW THAT PLAY. 

Not only do Football Moms yell like crazy when the boys are making plays but they also take a minute to confirm that the appropriate mom saw the play.  If for whatever reason the mom did not see THAT PLAY she is filled in with every detail of the EXTREME AWESOMENESS that is her son.  It is like she never missed it.  And then when the boy that has made THAT PLAY returns to the sidelines, he is not only greeted with the smile from his own mom, he is also greeted with the hoots and hollers of all the other football moms.  He is made to feel like he is the MVP of that moment.  Kinda awesome, don’t ya think?

Being a football mom, baseball mom, or any other kind of "sports mom" is almost like having a part-time job.  Correction...it IS a part-time job with no financial pay.   There is a great benefit in the long run though and it's something our sons enjoy so we make the sacrifice.  The demand of the practice schedule, school, work, and maintaining a household is definitely overwhelming at times.  But we wouldn't be SuperMoms without a little chaos right?

I wonder what my sister, Beth, is going to say about us in the Superhero costumes?  I think we look pretty amazing! :)